He drove to a spot they used to sit and talk. Things had changed since the last time he was here, they weren’t together anymore, she had gotten scared. He put the car in park, turned the key to shut off the engine but not the radio. Marvin’s room was playing, it was the first song they listened to together, just them. She still texted him from time to time, he always replied. As much as it hurt he had to reply, as if it kept his memory of her alive.
Girl: hey, what’s going on?
Guy: l came here because here we are still together, your still alive.
Girl: but I am. I’m still alive.
Guy: but I’m afraid it’s not the same anymore, I’m afraid it’s not that simple.
Girl: your afraid to feel.
Guy: I’m afraid to feel you, what if it doesn’t feel the same? What if it’s not you?
Girl: do you think I’ll be broken? Do you think I’ll have stopped loving you?
Guy: I think I’ll lose you. Not the real you, but the one that I talk to at night when I can’t sleep.
Girl: but you won’t lose me, I’ll just be updated.
At this point she climbed over the center console in his car and sat in his lap. She put her arms around his neck. She kissed his cheek.
Girl: just give me a call.
Before he could respond, she had disappeared. It was crazy he thought. Not that he just had a conversation with a memory of someone, but that she could be right. He didn’t call. He text her.
Message: can you meet me at the spot?
You text me
I’m not sure what to say
I know we promised
But they were empty
I think I need to grow up or you need to
Maybe we both need to
We were emotional you were emotional I was emotional
Up and down
I can’t love you until you be you
You have to be independent
Not just on your own
But you got to have friends
You have to connect with someone
I know this sounds one sided and I don’t mean it that way
I’m not sure your side
And maybe that’s fucked up
But we were fucked up
I am fucked up
And we fucked it up
This probably won’t make it feel better
Not sure what will
This is accurate though
The truth is sad though
I am fucked
We were fucked
We fucked it up